'Systems 101' - Stewarding Your One Life Wisely
Everyone has 24 hours in a day. How is it that some people get so much more done than others AND live joy filled, happy, rest-filled lives? Meanwhile, how many of us can’t quite seem to get off the struggle bus of never-ending and ever-accumulating To-Do lists?
The answer to this conundrum lies not in more effective time management, or willpower, or talent, or any inborn / unique trait that qualifies or disqualifies people for a fulfilling life. The answer lies in unpacking what it means to create effective systems.
John Maxwell says “You don’t rise to the level of your goals, but rather you fall to the level of your systems.” Meaning, that what most people credit one’s success to and call “talent” is typically nothing much more than being a good steward of the time and resources one has available.
Here’s what James Clear says about “Goals Vs. Systems” in his book Atomic Habits:
“Goals are good for setting a direction, but systems are best for making progress. A few problems arise when you spend too much time thinking about your goals and not enough time designing your systems…
Problem 1 - Winners and losers have the same goals, but it’s only after you implement a good system where you get the results…
Problem 2 - Achieving a goal is only a momentary change.
Imagine you have a messy room and you set a goal to clean it. If you summon the energy to tidy up, then you will have a clean room - for now. But if you maintain the same messy habits that led to that messy room in the first place, soon you’ll be looking at a new pile of clutter and hoping for another burst of motivation. You’re left chasing the same outcome because you never changed the system behind it. You treated a symptom without addressing the cause.
Problem 3 - Goals limit your happiness
The implicit assumption behind any goal is this: “Once I reach my goal, then I’ll be happy.” The problem with a goals first mentality is that you’re continually putting happiness of until the next milestone. Furthermore, goals create an “either or” conflict: either you achieve your goal and are successful or you fail and you are a disappointment. You mentally box yourself into a narrow version of happiness. This is misguided. It is unlikely that your actual path through life will match the exact journey you had in mind when you set out. It makes no sense to restrict your satisfaction to one scenario when there are many paths to success. A systems-first mentality provides the antidote. When you fall in love with the process rather than the product, you don’t have to wait to give yourself permission to be happy. You can be satisfied anytime your system is running. And a system can be successful in many different forms, not just the one you first envision.
Problem 4 - Goals are at odds with long term progress. Finally, a goals-oriented mindset can create a yo-yo effect. Many runners work hard for months, but as soon as they cross the finish line, they stop training. The race is no longer there to motivate them. When all of your hard work is focused on a particular goal, what is left to push you forward after you achieve it? This is why many people find themselves reverting to their old habits after accomplishing a goal. The purpose of setting goals is to win the game. The purpose of building systems is to continue playing the game. True long term thinking is goal-less thinking. It's not about any single accomplishment. It is about the cycle of endless refinement and continuous improvement. Ultimately, it is your commitment to the process that will determine your progress.”
Stephen Covey, in his book ‘7 Habits Of Highly Effective People,’ says that the reason most of us always feel like we’re behind, putting out fires, not having enough time for the things we truly value (relationships, rest, etc), and never getting done what we really want to get done, is because we focus on outdated methods of time management:
To Do Lists
The problem with relying on daily to do lists is
1.) You’re always pulled towards the most urgent things, but not necessarily the most important
2.) You’re leaving your time up to chance instead of your values
3.) You’ll always be stuck feeling like you’re putting out fires and be uncertain whether or not you’re making any progress as things continue to get added to your list that never quite seems to go down to zero. In short, you’re constantly pulled from the important, to handle the urgent.
Time Management
The issue with “time management” is that you can’t “manage” time. We all have 24 hours in a day; if you simply focus on filling up your time with things off your to do lists, you’re always going to feel busy and find it difficult to make the time necessary for the things you need to do for yourself to give you the feeling that you’re living FULLY instead of simply living.
Rather, to create effective systems, we need to be proactive about 3 things, in the following order:
1.) What is my identity?
What are my core values, temperament needs, and strengths and weaknesses?
2.) What are my roles?
3.) What questions am I asking myself?
Daily? Weekly? Monthly? What is my priority?
WHAT IS MY IDENTITY?
The Bible says in Romans 8:13 that “For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live.” The ‘flesh,’ in modern psychological terms, is what we would call our “personality.” It’s an evolved, adapted, sense of identity that in biblical counselor lingo we would call our “false self” - i.e. how we’ve learned to behave and react and adapt and cope based on our upbringing in order to survive and view the world a certain way. Your personality is the mask you put on to survive. The issue is that this can come into conflict with our hardwiring i.e. our fixed core nature at birth, i.e. our God-given temperament, causing confusion and drifting and self-questioning as we struggle to find ourselves in the challenges of life.
I used the Arno Profile System to identify my God-given identity, my temperament. After 30+ years of living and dozens of books read and countless hours of personal development over 10 years, I can honestly say that I didn’t TRULY begin to understand and know my real self until I understood my temperament. And I don’t believe you can truly get to those roots without incorporating counseling of this nature into your personal growth plan.
What does this have to do with temperament?
You’ll understand….
….your natural strengths and how to maximize them
….your natural weaknesses and how to work with them
….your needs in relationships and how to receive them
….how to maximize your physical, emotional, and spiritual energy
….how to best grow and develop yourself
….how to bring yourself more joy and happiness and fulfillment
….where your limits and boundaries are so you don’t become overwhelmed
Can you see how essential this is to how you spend your mornings & evenings, selecting habits that feed you specifically, eliminating habits that are unnecessary or take away from you, and mapping out your weekends, months, and vocation?
Until you affirm your identity, the complete person God made you, you’ll always feel busy but stuck on a merry-go-round of insanity you can’t quite seem to get off of due to the ongoing war between your false self and your real self.
WHAT ARE MY ROLES?
We all have responsibilities - to ourselves, others in our care, and to people we love who are significant parts of our lives. When you take the time to define your identity and your values, it allows you to focus on the truly important and create boundaries around other relationships and activities that don’t align with your ultimate purpose and vision for your life.
Roles can include: Parent, sibling, son or daughter, my physical health, my emotional health, my spiritual health, co-worker, business partner, friend.
Each week, take some reflection time to identify your non-negotiable allotments in each of these areas based off your core values.
How do you differentiate between the essential (things that contribute to your life purpose) vs. non-essential (things that take away from, or don’t add to your life purpose) allotments in each of these roles?
It comes down to identifying your Priority. Your purpose. Your vocation. Your mission.
Notice how I used the word ‘priority’ (singular), versus ‘priorities’ (plural). Let’s take a little stroll down history lane:
“The word priority came into the English language in the 1400s. It was singular. It meant the very first or prior thing. It stayed singular for the next five hundred years. Only in the 1900s did we pluralize the term and start talking about priorities. Illogically, we reasoned that by changing the word we could bend reality. Somehow we would now be able to have multiple “first things.” People and companies routinely try to do just that. One leader told me of his experience in a company that talked of “Pri-1, Pri-2, Pri-3, Pri-4, and Pri-5.” This gave the impression of many things being the priority, but actually none was.” ~Greg McKeown
Let me give you an example of a priority based on mine.
I’m a Christian, and the bible outlines four universal purposes for all men (and women):
The great commandment (Matthew 22:36-38) - loving God
The new commandment (John 13:34) - loving others
The cultural mandate (Genesis 1:28) - tending to our work and family
The great commission (Matthew 28:18-20) - serving God by serving others through evangelism, discipleship, and meeting the needs of the poor
My Priority (singular), my one thing that by investing my (God-given) time, energy, and financial resources into can give me the greatest ROI (Return On Investment) in those 4 areas in alignment with my vocation and life’s purpose, is my calling in the world of entrepreneurship to mentor and coach and lift others up to achieve their God-given potential.
By organizing all my other roles around this as my priority while using His love for me as my fuel, I have an uncapped vehicle I can steward to pour my energy into:
Loving others by serving them
Take control of my time in order to better steward my familial and other significant relationships
Grow my (God-given) financial resources like the wise son in the parable of the talents (in the book of Matthew) in order to meet the needs of the poor and invest in organizations that need funding to do His will
WHAT QUESTIONS AM I ASKING MYSELF?
Once you’ve identified your roles and the one priority around which all of these are centered, what types of questions are you asking yourself on a daily, weekly, and monthly basis in order to best steward the limited number of hours we’re given in a day, week, month, year, and life?
John C. Maxwell says that “those who live the best lives are the ones who ask themselves the best questions.”
Here’s an example of what I ask myself (these are just examples, figure out what makes sense for you with a coach, mentor, or counselor)….
MONTHLY
What important calendar events are happening?
Are there any other special / unique events happening (church events, life groups, holidays, birthdays, workshops, social gatherings etc)?
What are my travel plans the next few months?
How am I serving my local church body this month (life groups? Worship team?) Am I stewarding my gifts well?
When am I spending time with my level 2 relationships (family, business team, etc)?
What recreational activities or events are happening that I can use to fill my relationship/health/energy/values bucket(s)?
Are there any special events I would like to host in the next few months?
How can I serve the less fortunate with my time/talent/energy these next few months (1+ per month)? www.volunteermatch.org i.e.
What are my meal plans weekly?
How am I going to be generous with my finances this month?
Have I updated my monthly budget and counseling sheets?
Are there any purchases I need to make these next few months that I need to start planning for?
What 3-4 books am I reading this month (book of the month, something on the personal growth book list, something of interest)
What am I doing for self-care?
When am I scheduling next month's planning session?
WEEKLY
When am I making time for my level 1 (intimate) relationship?
When am I working on my list of ongoing projects?
When am I making time to network?
What am I doing for my health this week (physical, emotional, mental)? What are my workouts and when am I doing them?
Who do I need to call this week, and about what?
When am I meal prepping next and when am I grocery shopping? Grocery list?
When am I doing my next weekly check-in with my mentors and counselor(s)?
Where am I slotting in my To-Do List for the week (which days and for what)?
Podcasts to listen to this week?
Books I am reading from this week?
Slot in time for next week’s planning and reflection time
When is my downtime next weekend and what am I doing to make it restful and restorative instead of simply unproductive or distracting or unfruitful?
DAILY
What is my ‘hard stop’ for putting the phone down and putting my head on the pillow? Sometimes we end the day with uncompleted tasks and things we’d LIKE to do, but come at the expense of the next day’s resources by compromising our sleep. Successful people know how to P.o.P. (procrastinate on purpose). I’d LIKE to have cleaned my room, but it’s not something that NEEDS to be done right this moment at the expense of my most precious resource (energy). However, if I haven’t read today, I will at least read a little bit past my ‘hard stop,’ because choosing not to invest in my mind today isn’t something I can get back once the day is over and is a huge part of what is going to contribute to helping me accomplish my long term goals (mindset).
What is my strategy for unwinding to make sure I’m not damaging the quality of my sleep?
When am I journaling to capture my thoughts, emotions, experiences, successes, and failures? A life unevaluated is a life of confusion. (2 Corinthians 10:5)
When am I reading / what am I reading?
What type of self care do I need to do for myself based on my temperament?
CONCLUSION
My purpose in life is to be loved by God. And I define success in life as being a good steward of the time, money, health, abilities, and relationships I’ve been given from Him. It’s up to God how and when those things grow and multiply and flourish because we live in a broken world that isn’t always “fair.” But by and large, those who live the best lives aren’t necessarily the most talented or good-looking, but rather are those who are intentional and focused with what they’ve been given by creating good systems to maximize their one life to the fullest.