Reminders For The High Achiever
This one goes out to all my high-achiever friends out there.
If you’ve ever had BHAG’s (Big, Hairy, Audacious Goals) that you’ve been working towards that just seem SO far away, and you’ve gone through obstacles and frustrations and peaks and valleys, how do you HANDLE it all while continuing to move forward with perspective? AND, continue to have fun while doing it without getting so caught up in your head about where you’re NOT at in your life yet??
The fact of the matter is that even though life is short, the journey feels long and fruitless at various points along the way, and we all need encouragement and reminders that it is often in the midst of the mundane that progress is actually being made - IF we know where to look for it.
But first you have to define “progress,” because if you aren’t clear about where you’re going and why, then you’ll never feel like you’re living your best life.
So here are 5 thoughts that keep me on the straight and narrow:
YOU WILL NEVER TOTALLY ‘ARRIVE’
Hitting goals feels great! The momentary surge of satisfaction and pleasure that comes from hitting a goal is what creates that addiction for high achievers. The issue with any addiction is that you always need a constant ‘drip’ to stay satisfied, and sometimes there are significant lengths of time between some goals - especially significant ones.
So it’s great to have and reach goals, and it’s important to set them, but it’s also important to place boundaries around what they can and can’t do for you in creating a fulfilling life. The purpose of a goal is to point you in a certain direction. It’s great when you reach certain milestones and they do feel good, but your intrinsic and ultimate motivation should come from the direction itself - your values, your mission, your vocation - NOT the milestones along the way which come and go in the blink of an eye.
This should put things in perspective when you’re not hitting milestones as quickly as you’d like to. So many people put off their happiness and ability to live and enjoy life because of some ‘destination’ they ‘need to reach’ before they can truly ‘live.’ Well, guess what? If you continue to live like that, you’ll be like the countless number of people who reach the end of their lives and wish they had focused on what actually mattered along the way. Mission. Purpose. Impact.
I’m an entrepreneur, and although I’m excited about being financially independent, enjoying the various material blessings life has to offer, helping others reach their goals, etc, I know that no matter how much money or ‘success’ by the world’s standards I will have achieved by the end of my life, that I’ll still be able to look back on my life no matter how many goals I missed with satisfaction because I: Served others as best I could, lived according to God’s desires for my life, chose to push through my trials and struggles so I could give hope to others, took the time for my relationships and experiences, and lived for a mission and a vision bigger than any one of my personal goals. In short, a vision that has no end. With a life like that, you just can’t lose because even though there will always be another goal to hit or milestone to reach, you can never ‘waste’ your life in the service of others.
ALL I DO IS WIN
Carol Dweck, in her book Mindset, talks about the difference between a growth mindset and fixed mindset. In short, a fixed mindset is the belief that you just ‘are who you are,’ and therefore your ability to achieve in life has a ceiling.
A growth mindset is one’s continual belief in your ability to get better, that even though we all have strengths and weaknesses that there is always a way forward if you work with your strengths while leveraging the strengths of others.
Many get frustrated when they feel like they’ve ‘hit a wall’ and they aren’t making progress. The reason I don’t get frustrated when I those walls or ruts in life is because I apply a growth mindset to my circumstance:
“Ok, I’m stuck. Or at least I ‘appear’ to be stuck. What can I learn in this struggle to get better? How can I let this situation make me better as a person or as an opportunity to improve my skills in some way? This is an exciting opportunity to grow internally, like a puzzle that I’ve been given to figure out!”
In short, whatever I’m going through, either I’m observing external results (sweet, I’m making visible progress towards my goals!), or I’m growing as a person (sweet, I can use this to shape my character and move that much closer to my ‘best self!’).
And by the way, all that frustration you’re experiencing about not being ‘further along?’ News flash: True happiness doesn’t come from reaching a goal anyways, it comes from the pursuit of a goal. So if you’ve been given or blessed with a big vision for your life, congratulations! The ultimate satisfaction in life is in the pursuit of a vision and the journey is just as much your reward as the destination. So just have fun and stay on the ride!
Not to mention, every challenge I go through I use to motivate myself and thank God for because I know He’ll use my story to impact others through them.
I CAN’T LOSE! Life is too short to not grow, all the time, through all things.
TOO BLESSED TO BE STRESSED
There’s a difference between feeling content, and feeling satisfied. Losers in life who haven’t reached their goals yet feel miserable ALL THE TIME, because they think that happiness comes from reaching a goal that will truly allow them to live their best life. As a result, they delay everything and work themselves to the bone in order to reach what they think will make them happy. The irony of living life that way is that even when they do reach their goal, they’ll still be miserable and DOA (Dead On Arrival) because life is just as much about HOW you get there as getting there. The truly successful in life who’ve mastered the art of living live with passion in the present while feeding their hunger to maximize the life God gave them.
Being completely satisfied in life is the quickest way to your grave. It’s a way of justifying your fear of maximizing your gifts and talents and abilities by using ‘humility’ as a cover for fear and laziness and selfishness. There is so much you have to offer the world, and the world will be that worse off because you refused to put yourself out there and steward your gifts for other people. “I don’t need anything” is an excuse to refuse to grow yourself, use your talents, and make the most of what God has given you. And we know how that worked out for 1 of the 3 sons in the Parable Of The Talents in the Good Book.
Being content, however, is the foundation for pursuing a passionate life. You’ll never be happy once you reach your goals; rather, you’ll reach your goals because you learned how to be grateful and at peace in the present. There is a LOT of research behind the mental and emotional benefits of practicing gratitude, and all it takes is a piece of paper and a pen each morning and before bed to fuel your tank. I truly believe with all my heart that if you don’t take to heart what I’m saying and make this an intentional part of your daily living, that you’ll never ever have the life you want. Do it. There are people in this world who need you at your best and you owe it to them and to yourself.
YESTERDAY IS GONE, TOMORROW IS ONLY AS GOOD AS YOU MAKE TODAY - CHILL OUT!
Thinking too much about the future can cause anxiety. Living in the past too much can cause depression. 70-80% of our thoughts occur in one of those two places, and it’s exactly what the Enemy wants. It’s funny, right? 70-80% of our thoughts occur in one of two unproductive fantasy worlds - The past is a cancelled check, and the future hasn’t even happened yet. It takes intentional focus Each And Every Day to live in the present, but it is the key to peace and joy and satisfaction.
How do you cultivate that sense of presence in the present?
Remind yourself that:
Every unproductive minute you spend worrying about the future can be spent actively working to make today great - which will directly impact that future
Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed anyways, so stop worrying about what’s going to happen 2 years from now when you don’t even know if you’ll be around 2 weeks from now.
Years from now you’re going to regret all the time spent worrying about the future you currently exist in, that could’ve been spent soaking in ‘the good old days’ you can no longer get back
The ‘Good ol’ Days’ are happening RIGHT NOW, so soak it up.
Someone wise once said to “...not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
It’s important to set goals, break them down into what you can control with your habits daily, and then throw away the goal and focus on those daily habits and embrace the blessings that come your way and the timing they come in.
GOD’S VIEW OF TIME IS DIFFERENT THAN OUR OWN
God exists outside of the reality we understand and grasp within our limited human understanding. Which makes sense, because the Creator is always greater than the Created.
God exists in both the past, present, and future, which means He has a much different perspective on the ‘timing’ of our lives than we do.
Tim Keller, in his sermon “Does God Control Everything?,” which you can search for on YouTube or in podcast form, describes the paradox of Free Will and His Plans in our life.
In summation of the sermon, the paradox is that He both gives us the ability to make our own decisions, AND plans ahead in the future for the ripple effect our decisions will have and “works for the good of all those who love Him” (Romans 8:28). Bottom line: There is no Plan B for your life, and God is never slow or fast on His promises. He will make something great out of your life no matter how slow things seem to be happening, no matter what’s been taken from you, no matter what ‘mistakes’ you’ve made. It’s a big promise, and it takes faith to be sure, but I can’t think of anything more comforting than a God who already knows how bad we’re going to make a mess of things and engages with us in that messiness to make something even more beautiful than we can possibly imagine.
I love this quote from Rick Warren and I’ll end with this:
"One of life's frustrations is that God's timetable is rarely the same as ours. We are often in a hurry when God isn't. You may feel frustrated with the seemingly slow progress you're making in life. Remember that God is never in a hurry, but he is always on time. He will use your entire lifetime to prepare you for your role in eternity. The Bible is filled with examples of how God uses a long process to develop character, especially in leaders. He took eighty years to prepare Moses, including 40 in the wilderness. When God wants to make a mushroom, he does it overnight, but when he wants to make a giant oak, he takes a hundred years. Great souls are grown through struggles and storms and seasons of suffering. Be patient with the process. James advised, "Don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed."
~Rick Warren
So chill. Life isn’t about arriving, it’s just as much about the journey as it is the milestones. You can’t lose with a growth mindset. You have a lot to be thankful for, so keep those things at the front of your brain and heart at all times. You may not think you’ve got this, but God’s got you. Tomorrow hasn’t arrived, yesterday is gone; all we have is today, so let’s begin.