How Do I ‘Get Motivated?’
Too many people equate motivation with feelings. And, as a result, dreams or goals or sacrificed on the altar of ‘emotions’. But motivation and emotions are not always the same thing. Motivation begins with your values, and when you follow your values you’re going to need to follow through on things you often don’t feel like doing. Motivation is a result, not a precondition.
Motivation feeds on the satisfaction of you being congruent with the things you told yourself you were going to do (showing up).
Dan Sullivan calls the progression of success & motivation the 4 C’s:
1 - Commitment (this always comes first; a non-emotional decision based on your values)
2 - Courage (hard to be courageous if you’re not committed)
3 - Capability (we always want this before we commit)
4 - Confidence (this is why people fail - we want Confidence before the other 3 but this is always the byproduct)
“Passion comes from sticking with something (Commitment), which is easy when you have a strong desire to get better and/or not be bad at something. And before long, you realize you’ve gotten passionate about the passion. In time, you “become” the thing you do. At some point you give yourself permission to think of yourself not as someone who runs, but who is a runner. Not someone who started a business, but as a business owner. And when you start to become that thing, you no longer need motivation as much. You just do what you need to do because that’s what you’ve become.”
TOO MANY CHOICES: DECISION FATIGUE
One of the biggest impacts on motivation is ‘decision fatigue,’ which comes from too many choices; every day at any given hour, because we have not taken the time to clarify what is important to us and when, we face a barrage of constant decision making which depletes our willpower faster as the day goes on.
WILLPOWER IS….
…NOT something you either have or don’t have
…Sometimes a function of necessity when you decide that you have no choice
…A byproduct of the 4 C’s - it’s easy to stay the course when you feel good about what you’re accomplishing
…A muscle that can be developed thanks to our Anterior Mid-Cingulate Cortex
…In part a function of our glucose stores which deplete as the day goes on
…Inversely proportionate to the number of decisions we’re forced to make over the course of the day
Let’s look at some strategies for reducing decision fatigue:
Strategy 1 - Say “I don’t” instead of “I can’t”
Researchers conducted an experiment: Participants were told to set a personal long-term health and wellness goal. When their initial motivation flagged - as initial motivation inevitably does - one group was told to say, "I can't miss my workout."
Another group was told to say, "I don't miss my workouts." (The control group was not given a temptation-avoidance strategy.)
Ten days later the researchers found:
Three out of ten control group members stuck to their goal.
One out of ten "I can't" group members stuck to their goal.
Eight out of ten "I don't" group members stuck to their goal.
When you “can’t,” you automatically start to find excuses, reasons why you can. When you “don’t,” you automatically start to find ways to ensure you do—because that is the person you have to become.
Let’s look at an example in the realm of relationship boundaries:
Say a friend of a friend says, “I’d love to work in your industry. Can we meet for coffee so I can get some advice?”
You'd love to say yes, but sometimes that's impossible. Saying, "I'm sorry, but I can't," inevitably results in the other person saying, "But I promise it will only take a minute and it would mean so much to me." And then you're trapped.
Here are examples how to maintain firm boundaries with kindness:
- "Thanks so much for thinking of me—I really appreciate it. I’m not going to be able to do that right now because I’m protecting some focused time for [my current priorities / rest / family commitments / the things I’ve already said yes to]. I hope you understand."
- "I’m honored you asked, but I have to say no. I’m keeping my schedule pretty protected at the moment so I can stay on track with what I’ve committed to. Let me know how it goes!"
- Simpler version (when you want maximum firmness with kindness):
"No, I won’t be able to do that. Thank you for asking though."
Why This Works
- Ownership of your life and time —you are responsible for your own "property" (time, energy, values, schedule). Saying yes when your heart is no builds resentment and burns you out. Protecting your priorities isn’t selfish—it’s stewardship of the life you’ve been given.
- ‘No’ = love, not rejection — A clear boundary actually helps relationships stay healthy long-term. Vague excuses or people-pleasing "yeses" create unspoken bitterness; honest no’s allow mutual respect.
- Guilt is often the real enemy, not the other person — guilt frequently comes from childhood patterns, fear of disapproval, or confusing "being nice" with "being loving." A firm no without over-explaining short-circuits that guilt cycle. You don’t have to justify your priorities to anyone.
- Over-explaining weakens the boundary — Giving too many reasons invites negotiation, debate, or guilt-tripping ("But you said you had some free time…").
- Consequences belong to them — If they get upset, disappointed, or push back, that’s their responsibility to handle—not yours to fix by changing your no.
Strategy 2 - Eliminate all other goals that fall outside the big 3, thereby reducing the number of choices
If you currently aren't healthy, don't feel good about your primary relationships (or the people with whom you are in those relationships don't feel good about you), and aren't making enough money, then you have no business taking on any goal that does not make one of those areas of your life better. It's impossible to feel fulfilled and happy if you aren't taking care of your basic needs. For brief periods of time it's okay if that balance is off, but do that for long, and everything falls apart: your motivation, your confidence, your small successes and ultimately, your happiness.
More goals -> More Questions -> More Competing Decisions -> More Decision Fatigue -> Willpower Depletes Faster
Strategy 3 - Pre-decide
Make unimportant decisions the night before so you reduce your Decision Fatigue Factor for tomorrow - workout clothes, what you’re having for lunch, eliminating apps and silencing notifications, what your catalyst actions that will get you moving in the morning, organizing your morning space for reading / planning, preloading the coffee maker
Strategy 4 - Do Hard Things First - Exercise & Study
You have the greatest amount of mental energy early in the morning. Science says so.
Increased blood flow to the brain will help you think more clearly and focus on what's most important. Fresh oxygen will permeate every cell in your body and increase your energy all day, which is why top entrepreneurs who exercise report being in a better mood and in better shape, getting better sleep, and being more productive
The research is conclusive: You need to exercise. A lot. Especially if you care about your mental performance. Exercise increases production of brain-derived neurotropic factor (BDNF). BDNF causes new neurons to grow in your hippocampus and other areas in the brain, creating increased plasticity and the ability to learn faster, remember more, and improve overall brain function. This is a huge point that too many people miss: Exercise improves learning. Exercise also decreases stress, which is a killer of mental performance.
Research shows that moderate aerobic exercise can improve your mood for up to twelve hours - so why not exercise first thing and take advantage of being in a good mood for the rest of the day?
Strategy 5 - Refuel Often
Willpower is a function of glucose. When you don’t have enough glucose in your system you’ll respond more to immediate rewards and care less about long term outcomes
Eat healthy meals. Eat healthy snacks.
Not only will you feel better, but you'll also make better decisions and you'll be able to exercise more willpower in making those decisions.
Strategy 6 - Create reminders of your long term goals
Think of moments, environments, times of day when vou are most likely to give in to impulses that take you further away from your long-term goals (usually in the latter half of the day). Then use tangible reminders of those long-term goals
Strategy 7 - Remove temptation altogether
Every time you have to decide not to do something you would like to do - even though what you would like to do runs counter to your goals - simply rework your environment so you eliminate your ability to be impulsive. Then you don't have to exercise any willpower at all. Take the candy jar off the counter and stash it in a cabinet. Turn off all your social media notifications and check your accounts only every couple of hours (I use an app called Roots and I eliminate the ability to even use specific time-wasters outside the hours of 1-5pm when my most productive work happens). Take a different route to work so you won't be tempted to pop into Starbucks. Or, take the opposite approach. Put your running clothes on the floor by your bed so you'll have to put them away if you decide to skip your morning routine.
Strategy 8 - Stop complaining
Research has shown that complaining damages the hippocampus, the are of the brain responsible for memory, learning, and emotion. Its largest job is to hold short-term memories and transfer them to long-term storage in our brains. It also plays a role in emotional processing, including anxiety and avoidance behaviors.
Grumbling and complaining internally or externally physiologically shuts down the parts of your brain responsible for creativity and puts you into fight or flight mode. Talk about hurting your motivation. From a spiritual perspective, God has plenty to say about people who complain in the Good Book. Interesting; it’s almost like he designed our brains to respond that way…
Strategy 9 - Use Your Greatest God-given Superpower
We were created to worship. That isn’t even a spiritual statement. Look at the most non-religious people you know. They don’t believe in God, but they certainly worship politicians, or the earth (climate, environment), or sex, or food, or their dog.
All of our self-imposed mental health issues have the same antidote, however - gratitude.
Brennan Manning, in the book Ruthless Trust, says that the primal, original sin of man dating back to the Garden Of Eden with Adam & Eve was ingratitude.
“To be grateful for the good things that happen in our lives is easy, but to be grateful for all of our lives— the good as well as the bad, the moments of joy as well as the moments of sorrow, the successes as well as the failures, the rewards as well as the rejections— that requires hard spiritual work. Still, we are only grateful people when we can say thank you to all that has brought us to the present moment. As long as we keep dividing our lives between events and people we would like to remember and those we would rather forget, we cannot claim the fullness of our beings as a gift of God to be grateful for. Let's not be afraid to look at everything that has brought us to where we are now and trust that we will soon see in it the guiding hand of a loving God.” ~Brennan Manning
From a progress & motivation perspective, we have two choices: Focusing on the gain (how far you’ve come so far - dopamine is the primary chemical signature), or the gap (how far you have to go - cortisol is the primary chemical signature - stress, frustration).
Strategy 10 - Eliminate refined sugar and alcohol
Let’s keep this simple. Here is a list of all the health markers impacted by refined sugar and alcohol:
-Reduced focus & concentration
-Worse memory over time
-Slower learning and information processing
-Lowered creativity in complex problem solving
-Lowered intrinsic motivation
-Reduced willpower and self-control
-Increased reliance on external rewards
-Higher risk of apathy or learned helplessness
-Dehydration and reduced endurance
-Impaired muscle growth and recovery
-Disrupted sleep quality
-Delayed healing from injuries
-Chronic fatigue
-Disrupted habit building
-Increased anxiety, depression, stress
-Reduced resilience and increased risk of procrastination
-Higher long-term risk of dementia
-Increased brain fog and mental fatigue
-Increased craving-driven behavior
-Higher risk of apathy or emotional dysregulation
If while reading this list you felt compelled to wonder which markers were affected by sugar vs alcohol, you have a problem. The answer is Yes. Both. Make some changes. You’re killing your motivation before you start. You will not succeed at any level while poisoning yourself slowly over time. Don’t give yourself more demons to battle than you need to.
Strategy 11 - Generate Short-Term Energy
Sometimes during the day, we get a little worn down and willpower gets depleted and we need little gimmicks to get our energy up.
Here are some of the most effective, evidence-backed natural strategies for a quick energy and/or motivation spike when you're dragging during the day (especially that classic 1–4 p.m. circadian dip). These focus on methods that work in 5–15 minutes or less, without relying on caffeine, sugar crashes, or anything artificial.
Top Quick Fixes (Ranked Roughly by Speed + Strength of Effect)
1. Get moving — even for 2–10 minutes*
The single fastest and most reliable natural boost. A brisk walk (especially outside), jumping jacks, stretching, or quick bodyweight moves increase blood flow, oxygen delivery, and endorphins/dopamine. Studies show a 10-minute walk often beats candy for energy. Fresh air + sunlight adds extra alertness via vitamin D and circadian signaling.
→ Best when: You're indoors and sedentary.
2. Splash cold water or use cold exposure
Splash cold water on your face, wrists, or take a 30-second cold shower. It triggers the "diving reflex" and spikes alertness fast. Many people report near-instant clarity.
3. Bright light exposure (natural sunlight preferred)
Step outside for 2–10 minutes or sit near a bright window/blue-enriched light. This suppresses melatonin (sleep hormone) and boosts alertness more effectively than dim indoor lighting. Blue light specifically improves reaction time and mental performance during slumps.
4. Hydrate quickly
Drink 8–16 oz of water (add lemon for flavor/mild boost). Mild dehydration is a common hidden cause of fatigue — fixing it can lift energy in 10–20 minutes.
5. Power snack with protein + fiber + healthy fat
Avoid pure sugar. Go for:
- Greek yogurt + berries
- Apple + nut butter
- Handful of nuts + dark chocolate (70%+)
- Hard-boiled egg + veggies
This gives steady fuel without a crash, plus protein supports dopamine for motivation.
6. Up-tempo music + movement combo
Play fast-paced, upbeat music (bonus if you sing/dance/tap along). Music increases dopamine and blood flow; adding movement amplifies it. Described as "audio caffeine" in multiple sources.
7. Quick breathing or micro-meditation
Try 1–2 minutes of deep, rhythmic breathing (e.g., 4-7-8 pattern or box breathing) or a short mindfulness reset. Clears brain fog, reduces stress-induced fatigue, and improves focus/motivation fast.
8. Chew gum or use energizing scents
Chewing increases heart rate and brain blood flow for quick alertness. Peppermint, rosemary, lemon, or spearmint essential oils (inhaled or diffused) have shown to improve focus and perceived energy.
9. Brief social connection
Text/call a friend, quick chat with a coworker, or even positive small talk. Social interaction releases dopamine and quickly counters isolation-related motivation dips.
10. Power nap (if possible — 10–20 min)
The nuclear option for deep fatigue. A short nap resets adenosine (sleep pressure chemical) without grogginess. Not always feasible at work, but highly effective when you can.
TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE FACTORS THAT FEED YOUR MOTIVATION
THINGS TO THINK ABOUT:
1 - How can you start your day prioritizing your health?
2 - How can you reduce decision fatigue the next day by pre-deciding things the night before? What can you pre-decide the night / day before?
3 - What excuses are you telling yourself that are currently limiting your activity? Calendar? Ability? Other people? Fear? Where you live? Time?
4 - On a scale of 1 to 10, how well do you feel you’re maximizing your coach or mentor if you have one? Why did you pick the number you picked?
5 - If you’re not doing the things you said you were going to do when you said you were going to do them, what are you allowing to stop yourself?
6 - What things do you complain about the most? How can you change those stories?
7 - What goals or priorities do you have outside of healthy relationships, health, and income that you maybe need to temporarily put on hold because one or more of your three non-negotiable areas aren’t where you need them to be?
8 - In what areas of your life do you need to replace “I can’t” with “I don’t”? Exercise, social time with friends, watching too much TV, spending too much on social media, waking up early, not networking because you’re tired
9 - In those areas you need to replace “I can’t” with “I don’t,” name something you hate more than you hate changing that piece of your decision making and choices
10 - How can I change my diet and give my brain a fighting chance?
11 - What short term band-aids can I use during the day to reset my energy?
Here’s the general process of motivation:
Take action -> Small Wins / Success -> Motivation -> More success -> More motivation -> More success = Becoming the person you want to become.
You won’t stay motivated because of an AHA! moment. You STAY motivated when you find a process you trust and commit to working that process for as little as a week.
Strategy 1 - Embrace “your number” - probabilistic motivation
Bravery isn't a requirement for success.
Innate talent isn't a requirement for success.
Talented, highly skilled people don't take big risks . . . yet they still learn to accomplish big things.
How? They prepare. They train.
They constantly experiment and adapt and refine, refine, refine. Highly accomplished people gain superior skills not by bursting through the envelope but by approaching and then slowly and incrementally expanding the boundaries of that envelope.
The key to learning is to make small, smart changes, evaluate the results, discard what doesn't work, and further refine what does work. When you constantly modify and refine a skill you already perform well, you can perform it even better.
That's how great writers, great inventors, great entrepreneurs, great everythings succeed. Their success is based on skill, but it's also based on numbers. The more consistently you plug away, the ‘luckier’ you’ll get.
Strategy 2 - Do your R.E.P.S.
R: Reaching and Repeating
Practice should require you to operate at the edge of your abilities. In short, you have to consistently reach and constantly repeat. Don't just do what you already know how to do. Try to do what you can't do - yet. That's how you learn
E: Engagement
Don’t go out to check a box and put in a lot of inconsequential effort to feel productive. Make sure the outcome of every session is something you care about. You'll try harder and be more engaged, and you'll improve more rapidly.
P: Purposefulness
Practice must directly connect to the skill you want to build. (Sounds obvious, but often what we practice has little to do with what we need to accomplish.) Although solo rehearsing is certainly beneficial, the only way to perform well under the pressure of standing in front of an audience is to actually speak in front of people. No amount of solo practice can prepare you for the nerves you'll feel when every eye in the room is on you.
S: Strong, Speedy Feedback
Check your results right away. Immediate feedback is the best feedback. You'll better connect the dots because you're in the flow. Waiting even a day for feedback creates a mental distance and a lack of engagement that is hard to overcome--which means that much of the time you spent trying to learn was wasted.
What If You Find Yourself in a Rep Rut?
Here's an easy way out—and another way to learn to do almost anything a lot better. Try one—or all-of these:
GO SIGNIFICANTLY SLOWER.
Force yourself to go slower and you'll identity techniques or strategies that hold you back. Plus, you can experiment with new techniques that aren't apparent at normal speed.
GO SIGNIFICANTLY FASTER.
Force yourself to go much faster than normal. You'll screw up, and in the process you'll adapt and find new improvements.
BREAK A COMPLICATED TASK INTO SMALLER PARTS.
Almost every task includes a series of discrete steps. Pick one step, deconstruct it, master it... then put the whole task back together. Then choose another component to decon-struct. Incrementally improve enough steps and the overall improvement can be huge.
USE A DIFFERENT METRIC.
Pick a different measurement than you normally use to analyze your performance. Measure speed instead of accuracy, for example. Or use video or audio for feedback. (Watch-ing or listening to yourself isn't particularly fun—in fact, I hate it-but you'll quickly recognize a number of ways you can improve.)
CONCLUSION: NO RAGRETS (NOT EVEN A SINGLE LETTER)
If you didn’t get the movie reference, I’m sorry.
To re-cap:
1 - Motivation begins with commitment to the person you want to become
2 - Make decisions in your life to reduce the friction that creates decision fatigue between the person you are and the person you want to become
3 - Keep the end in mind. Losers are driven by fear of the unknown and compels them to make short-sighted decisions because it’s what they can feel & see in front of them. Winners are driven by the fear of regrets. When you refuse to accept less than what you want, you may not achieve everything you set out to, but you’ll certainly be able to look back on your life with satisfaction knowing you gave it everything you had. Winning isn’t about any one particular result. It’s commiting to a process that makes you better every day, in every way. As long as your system is running, you’ll feel more motivated because you’re winning by default.