Reminders When You’re Struggling
My favorite definition of wisdom is the ability to look at one’s circumstance from the largest possible view. Zooming out to put things in perspective. Looking at it with the end in mind.
The first step to wisdom is coming to grips with the reality that life is difficult. It often doesn’t make sense, and many times seems very random. Along my journey, I’ve picked up various phrases and verses that give me strength when I feel like I have nothing left in the tank. Sometimes, all we need is a word of wisdom to put things in perspective to shift our attitudes towards a particular circumstance. Not that there are any quick fixes when you are in a deep, dark place, but perspective can change many things.
I put some of them in here as a quick reference to anyone who might need a shot in the arm of encouragement, because Lord knows we all need it day to day. I view the truths below like hard candy; wisdom that you don’t just put in your mouth and swallow it in 2 seconds, but rather something you suck on and think about and dwell on and run through your mind over and over again, letting the truths and principles in them permeate your soul.
I believe that all principles and truths have their roots in Biblical scripture; regardless of your spiritual beliefs, you don’t need to be a Christian to recognize principles when you see them. If there is a God, and I believe there is, then the Bible is basically a handbook or manual for ‘How To Be Human’ as told by the manufacturer Himself.
In the order they’re listed below, here are the areas I’ve wrestled with and perhaps you too:
The Purpose Of Life & Living In It
Letting Go Of ‘How’ Our Plans Should Go While Embracing His Promises
Thoughts When I’m Suffering & Life Doesn’t Feel Fair
What Should I Do When I’m Feeling Lost?
Finding A Joy That Exceeds Happiness
How Do I Patiently Wait For A Breakthrough?
Keeping Relationships In Perspective
P.S. The bible verses below are hyperlinks to the actual verses if you click on them
1. The Purpose Of Life & Living In It
Life isn’t about what we can do for God, it’s about receiving what He is doing for us. My first purpose on earth is to let God love me.
If I find in myself desires which nothing in this world can satisfy, the only logical explanation is that I was made for another world. C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity
There is no Plan B for your life. God is a good shepherd, and every mistake you make He already knew what you would choose and He is already re-routing your decision to accomplish His will for your life regardless of how much you think you’ve “messed up.” EVERYTHING is worked together for our good and His glory. It is the ultimate paradox - Our ability to choose, combined with His unshakeable and immovable plans for those who love and trust Him ( Romans 8:28 )
If it costs you peace, it’s too expensive. “Lord, show me the things in my life that are keeping me back from fulfilling my purpose. I depend upon you for the strength to run the race before me. Amen.” ( Hebrews 12:1-3 )
The ultimate aim in life is spend plenty of time with and please God and have a loving relationship with Him; God knows ‘it is not good for man to be alone,’ and He will provide you with what you need (a partner, friends, resources, etc) to give you the tools necessary to run your race well. In the meantime, be patient and focus on growing in Him. Everything you have ever had and will have is a gift from God; He will provide you things you desire because He loves you like the good father He is, but regardless He needs to be ALL you need so those other desires don’t destroy you when/if they are taken away (1 Corinthians 7:29-35, 1 Corinthians 4:7-8, 2 Corinthians 5:9-10)
2. Letting Go Of ‘How’ Our Plans Should Go While Embracing His Promises
Live in expectancy of the good God will do in your life, while freeing yourself from specific expectations of how life should go so you can actively participate in the process of today.
3. Thoughts When I’m Suffering & Life Doesn’t Feel Fair
The extent of the suffering in your life is proportional to the size of the blessing you can be to others if you let God use your trials for His glory.
We have 2 responses to pain & heartbreak - Grieving, or groaning. Grieving is a healthy response given to us by God (see my other post on heartbreak), and when we groan we often attempt to suppress or repress which will eventually come out in unhealthy and destructive ways
Being in a dark place doesn’t mean you’re buried. You’ve been planted, and by choosing to grow through it you are building the roots from which your beauty will one day spring up out of and be a light to others. God has given us this calling: Help people be ready to suffer in a way that magnifies Christ (John Piper).
Only God can turn a Mess into a Message, a Test into a Testimony, a Trial into a Triumph, a Victim into a Victory.
Life getting difficult doesn’t mean God isn’t working for your good. Jesus himself was a ‘man of sorrows,’ and just as God used Jesus through his struggles He will use us for our good and His glory. (1 Peter 4:12-13)
Embrace suffering; God is in the driver’s seat, not you - “self-help” is an illusion that we can control our circumstances, while ‘self-sacrifice’ is the way to everything beautiful and wonderful God has in store for you when you make Him everything you want and need first. (Matthew 16:24-26)
One of the ironies of life is that when you reach the end of your rope and you feel like you’ve lost everything important to you, that is when God’s love, peace, and comfort is right there to hold you and refine through your pain to bring you through to intangible, eternal, beautiful blessings that can’t be bought with our own power or effort. God cares more about your character than your comfort, and will hold your hand as you go through trials in order to shape you and mold you into someone beautiful. (Matthew 5:3-5, Hebrews 12:7-11)
Faith isn’t faith until it’s all you’re holding on to. As A.W. Tozier said, “The reason many of us seem to be making little forward progress is that we have yet to come to the end of ourselves.”
Thank God for the very things that are troubling you. It will feel awkward and contrived at first, but if you persist, your thankful words, prayed in faith, will eventually make a difference in your heart. Thankfulness awakens you to His presence, which overshadows all your problems. (Psalm 116:17, Philippians 4:4-6)
Just as gold is refined through fire, leaning desperately into God in faith is what will store up for you the eternal treasures in heaven that never fade - unlike everything we treasure here on earth which will inevitably come to an end. (1 Peter 1:6-7)
Those who choose to stick out some of the most painful trials in life with faith in God, leaning into His love, are rewarded with life on the other side of it. (James 1:12)
Trials and troubles are what develop our character, and what allows us to be patient through those refining trials is the anticipation of waiting on God to see what good He is going to do through it for His glory and our good. We may feel shortchanged in the moment, but living in joyful anticipation of what He is going to do through your circumstance will never leave you disappointed in the end. No matter how long it takes. (Romans 5:3-5, Psalm 62:5-6)
4. What Should I Do When I’m Feeling Lost?
Writing down your thoughts while you meditate on scripture forces you to think and helps the scripture to take root more deeply in you. This process will transform your life. The enemy really fights against this.
Even when we don’t know what to pray for or what we need in our moments of weakness and pain, the Holy Spirit is praying to God on our behalf for the exact things we need. (Romans 8:26)
Anxiety comes from worrying about the future. Depression comes from dwelling too much on the past. Peace, joy, and love come from consciously, moment by moment, choosing to live in the present today. The practice of staying present is what will help heal you. (Matthew 6:34)
Waiting on the Lord requires intensity and patience. Not twiddling your thumbs for Him to fulfill His promises, but be busy in the service to God and others, all in full acceptance of His wisdom and timing while paying attention to His word and expression and gesture to discern His will. It might be long and excruciating, but it will be worth it. (Psalm 40:1-5)
5. Finding A Joy That Exceeds Happiness
Human history is the long, terrible story of man trying to find something other than God which will make him happy. ~C.S. Lewis
You can’t break a person who seeks their primary source of happiness from God.
Unhappy people focus on what they don’t have. Happy people focus on being a good steward of what God has given them and where He currently has them. (Proverbs 21:26)
6. How Do I Patiently Waiting For A Breakthrough?
“You face your greatest opposition when you’re closest to your biggest miracle.” T.D. Jakes
There’s a difference between trusting in God to work His best plan for us, and using Him to get what we want. When we refuse to feel the pain of our disappointment, then we’re not really trusting Him - we’re using Him.
God does most of us best trans-formative work in us during the painful periods of waiting between His promises given to us and the promises fulfilled in our lives.
God’s secret is patience. Everything that is meant to be will come at the designated time. (Galatians 6:9)
7. Keeping Relationships In Perspective
God created marriage as a way to accomplish His will through us with a partner who will point us to Him; God is a relational God and we don’t have to orchestrate through our efforts how that will come about. He will bring you to the right person as you focus on Him and the path He’s laid out for you. Trust His Timing. It will come together almost in spite of you (Charles Swindoll) (Genesis 2:22)
When Jesus becomes all you NEED, you may have other things you WANT (marriage, financial security, friendships, etc), you’ll be able to process life’s disappointments with Joy instead of relying on the need to chase happiness. He knows the things you need and will never give up on you. (1 Corinthians 1:7-9)
God allows you to feel the frailty of human love so we’ll appreciate the strength of His. C.S. Lewis
If you do not value Him more than your spouse, family, or friends, you will be shattered. Ironically our ultimate love for Him is what allows us to love our loved ones freely without the type of attachment that displaces Him as our savior and shatters our hearts. (Matthew 10:37)
What you don’t heal in your singleness, will spread like a disease in your togetherness.
God has an entire life planned for you, including every day until you get married and every day after. So don’t miss out on the entire story in the meantime just because you’re waiting for one chapter.