The Hero’s Journey
In the world of mythology (and Disney movies), The Hero’s Journey is a common template of stories that involve a hero or heroine who goes on an adventure, is victorious in a decisive crisis, and comes home changed or transformed.
These are the stories that inspire us, as we sit in our armchairs eating buttery popcorn and devour a titillating story that makes us wish and dream for similar dramatic breakthroughs in our own lives that would change everything for the better. And then, just like that, everything is conveniently resolved in a nice and tidy 2 ½ hour story arc (or 5 hours if you’re watching Lord Of The Rings), and we go to bed wishing that life wasn’t the same boring routine day after day where reality lives.
But this is the great deception in life, because many of us wish our lives evolved just like in the movies - something ‘happens’ to us and suddenly through some set of dramatic circumstances there is a turning point in our lives that sets us on a trajectory towards our dreams, fantasies, wishes, and desires. Why (oh, why?!) does it seem like some people get ‘lucky’ and are living out their dreams, while the majority of the world (I’m talking about 1st world problems here, to be clear) are barely dragging themselves through the work day so they can watch the latest Marvel episode on Disney Plus after work?
The reality is that, in the “real world,” the hero’s journey and the success many of us long for - time, travel, family experiences, incredible romance, adventure - does not occur through the dramatic. Far from it. The hero’s journey consists of developing and sticking with habits - mind-numbing, boring habits - in the wee hours of the morning or evening where no one is applauding you or patting you on the back, toiling in obscurity where at times you wonder why you’re even doing what you’re doing while fighting off loneliness because no one around you understands (or can really even empathize) with the work you’re putting in to create a better future for you and the people you love and care about. You’re doing things every day that you know (oh please, God) are going to EVENTUALLY pan out, but it’s been 6 months and you still haven’t seen the fruits of your labor and you’re starting to feel guilty about some of the social engagements you’ve been missing out on - even though you know that playing video games and grabbing wings with your drinking buddies isn’t exactly what Elon Musk would be doing on a Thursday night. Your mind drifts towards what now seems like a fantasy - the home you want to buy for your wife and kids someday, the ability to be a stay at home parent, to be able to afford to give your family the experiences they’ll treasure for a lifetime - before your fantasy is rudely interrupted by your wife or husband, reminding you from across the house that you forgot to take out the trash again.
This, THIS is the hero’s journey. But for some reason, and I’ve experienced this in my own life as well as the lives of those I’ve been blessed to call mentors and friends and peers, the universe has a way of rewarding persistent, mind-numbing, stubborn commitment. I don’t claim to know exactly how it works, but time and again I see people who are less talented, less attractive, less ‘pick-your-favorite-trait-you-think-makes-someone-successful than someone else,’ who persisted in the face of obscurity and futility and came out on top to create the life they want for themselves in their family. How? Well, this is a blog post, not a treatise on every success principle known to man; but here is what I would boil my experiences down to and from observation of other successful people in my life around me:
Values - They got clear on their values and what was most important to them in their life
Vision - They created a vision of the life they wanted to live out based on those values
Vehicle - They found a vehicle (i.e. as entrepreneurs) that would allow them to create and custom that life based on their values and vision
Inner Circle - They surrounded themselves with a small handful of other winners and mentors with the same values & results in their own lives, who could encourage them during the lower moments of life.
No Turning Back - They made anything less than the pursuit and accomplishment of that vision unacceptable, because they had a bedrock of truth that allowed them to withstand any storm. And that bedrock is this: In life, pain is a given. The majority of people settle in life because they fear the pain of failure. But successful people know that choosing to fail and fall short of their potential is ultimately just as painful, because choosing to be mediocre is going to keep life uncomfortable anyway. But when you strive for your potential in life, you can end your race on this earth with the satisfaction that you gave everything you had.
In summary, successful people don’t spend time worrying about when their vision is going to come to reality because they know that happiness is found in the process of achieving their dreams, not in the final result. And ultimately they (and I) would MUCH rather choose the pain of discipline and the possibility of falling short time and again, over the pain of regret wondering at 80 years old what life could have been like if they hadn’t wasted their life in fear. Values, Vision, Vehicle, Inner Circle, and a no-turning-back-attitude that attracts other people to you and your vision.
Godspeed.